Happy HELLidays and Season's Greedies!

This time of year brings out a most interesting cast of characters who have chosen to share ALL of their holiday spirit with ME! 

I have dedicated this entry of my Blog, Happy HELLidays, and Season's Greedies, for all of my fellow crew members out there, who know exactly what I am talking about!

Christmas time...  Time for families to come together once a year to celebrate the joyous holiday season!  A time when the dust of the olive green samsonite, and venture out, with the five screaming kids, to see grandma in some small town in Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana, Minnesota, or wherever my airline takes you.  This is the time of year, when the twice and a lifetime flyers make their way from out of the rock from which they live...

Here's a sampling of some of the quirkiness that happens during the holidays!

"But it fit on the LAST PLANE!!!!!!!!!"  Now I understand that it may have fit in the overhead bin the last time that you flew.  But I am sure, that 20 years ago, it was a 727, with 4 swanky stewardesses, not a regional jet with just me in charge of your safety.  I am sure that your dirty undies are very precious, and breakable, but it doesn't change the fact that your bag isn't going to fit on the airplane.  Arguing with the flight attendant, isn't going to make your oversized bag get any smaller.  I am not by any means trying to be mean, or pick on you, I am just ensuring that FAA and company policy is adheared to.  If they tag it at the gate, then it has to ride in the back.

"What are they planning to do with all of the snow that is on the wings?"  It was almost impossible to keep a straight face, when not one , but TWO different passengers, asked me the same question while I was boarding my Milwaulkee flight Tuesday morning, after a nice long 9 hour overnite.  (that equates to about 4 hours of sleep for me)  Here was my synical answer to both Einsteins who asked me the question:  "It's called Deicing, and Anti-icing fluid.  We can't spray it on the aircraft, until the door is closed because the formula is caustic.  Which means that it is really harmful to you, if you come into contact with it!"  I can understand peoples' concern, but there comes a time when you don't need to ask obviously redundant questions.  Has anyone ever taken off from an airport in an airplane that is covered with fresh snow?  I know that I haven't.

"Can I have another_________(insert, pop, or snack here)?  Mind you that I have already given everyone a WHOLE can of soda, and a bunch of snacks to each passenger, which is very rare now a days...  ESPECIALLY for an hour flight!  I only have SO much supplies for EVERYONE on the airplane, and if you need MORE carbs than the other passengers, then by all means bring some extra with you!

The following is a typical occurance:

"What can I get you to drink?" 

"What do you have?" 

"What do I have?????  Coffee, water, juice, and Soda."

"What kind of Soda do you have?"  

"I have Coke, Diet Coke, 7up, Diet 7up, Pepsi, DR. Pepper and Ginger Ale..."

"Do you have Mountian Dew?"

"No... I have....  Coke, Diet Coke, 7up, Diet 7up, Pepsi, DR. Pepper and Ginger Aaaaaaaaaaa..."

"How come you don't have Mountian Dew?"

"Honestly I do not know...  How about a Coke instead?"

"Nooooooo....  I'll have tea.."

"I am sorry, we don't have Tea...  How about Coffee?"

"Noooooo...  What kind of juice do you have?"

"I have....  Orange juice, Cranberry Apple juice, and Tomato juice."

"Oh.... I will have Apple juice then!"

"I have CRANBERRY apple juice, not apple juice!"

"I think that I will have a Diet Sprite....."

"I have Diet 7up, is THAT ok?"

"I GUESS, it will JUST have to DO!  CAN I AT LEAST get the WHOLE CAN?"

Yikes, and just times each of those by fifty, and you wonder why flight attendants get so crabby!

 

 

Have a happy and safe Holiday everyone!