In the beginning....

The cold air hit me as soon as I stepped off of the airplane.  Even with the canopy down, the frigid wind whipped across my face.  It was February, and it was my first taste of a Chicago winter.

 

Having graduated from flight attendant training only days before, my head buzzed with rules and regulations.  My heart was filled with homesickness even though I had only left my family that morning.

 

As I dragged my over-stuffed bag towards baggage claim, it finally hit me.  I was now a flight attendant.  What had I gotten myself into?  Here I was in a city that I had never been, with limited money, no apartment, four suitcases, and only a three day hotel stay provided by my company.  What was I going to do now?

 

An hour later I was safe in my hotel room.  After calling my parents to let them know that I was ok, I began to cry.  Uprooting myself from family and friends whom cared about me, to a huge city where I knew no one.  It was all in the name of free travel.  What had I really gotten myself into this time?  I pulled out my favourite blanket and pillow from one of my suitcases.  Wrapping them around me, I fell into a deep sleep.

 

The task at hand, the following morning, was to find an address, or at the very least a place to stow my suitcases.  I headed out to the airport to check the want ads in operations.  No one seemed to be looking for anyone like me.  By chance I ran into a girl who graduated in the class before mine.  She had a crash pad, but she said that I was more then welcome to stay there, until I found something better.  As luck would have it, the crash pad was even at the same hotel that I was staying.  Living in a hotel is not the best of circumstances, but at least it was safe.  My mother wasn’t exactly thrilled with the situation.  For now at least I had a place to sleep and stow my bags, until a girl in the class behind me graduated from training.  We had spoken only briefly before I graduated.  The only thing that we had in common, at that point, was we would be both new to Chicago, and knew no one else.

 

Her name was Brooke, and she was only nineteen at the time.  Like me it was her first time away from home.  After two weeks of living in a crash pad, her call came.  True to her word, she told me that she had found a room and that I was welcome to share it with her.  I then packed up my things as soon as possible, grabbed a cab to meet my new room mates.  We shared the place with another flight attendant and pilot, who were dating, but had separate rooms. 

 

I took a leap of faith and sharing a room with a girl that I had spoken to for only a few minutes. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise.  We both were away from home for the first time, so we looked out for each other.  Brooke would always take me grocery shopping, or pick me up from work if I got home too late.  I would help her get ready for work, if she got called out.   I would iron her uniform, pack her a lunch, or get all of her stuff together.  Sometimes two hours isn’t enough time to get ready.   I tried toteach her how to use mass transit, but she still preferred to have her car.  I don’t think that I would have lasted in those first few months if it weren’t for Brooke’s friendship. 

 

We would spend some nights chatting until the wee hours of the morning.  We also had our weekly pilgrimages to the local tanning salon.  When the weather started getting warm the two of us would lounge by the pool drinking Miller Highlife®, and eating jell-o® shots, while we baked our skin to a golden brown.  While I started to adjust to my new life in Chicago, Brooke grew more and more homesick for her family.  She hated being away from them, and she got tired of always being on the fly.

 

When the lease was up with our apartment, Brooke quit and went back home to be with her family.  I got a place in the heart of Chicago, and thus my love affair with the city began.  I don’t blame her for quitting, this life isn’t for everyone.  She went back to school and went on to do bigger and better things.  She came to visit me once, and we have chatted on the phone a few times over the years.  I still don’t think that she ever realized how much her friendship meant to me.

It's only water

Awhile back I had an interesting situation arise on a flight from Chicago to Baton Rouge

 

 

We were at the end of our beverage service and wheeling the cart up to the front of the airplane.  It was a little on the bumpy side.  Nothing too terrible, but it made pouring drinks a bit of a challenge

 

We had almost gotten all of the way to the galley with the cart, when Mr. “Platinum” in 1B asked yours truly for some water.  I nodded and proceeded to fill a cup with ice, and then with water.  Mr. “Platinum” barked, “NO ICE!” to me just as I lifted the scoop out of the ice tray.  Nodding again, I began to fill his cup with water, about ¾ full.  Mind you it was a little on the bumpy side at the time, and I didn’t want to spill water on him.

 

“A little MORE water,” he barked at me again.  So I added a little more water to his glass, trying not to spill it on him in the process.  Still not satisfied he barked at me yet again, “MORE WATER!”  So I added yet more water to his glass, still not trying to spill it on him.  It was filled this time almost to the brim, and yet he demanded more.  Finally I said, “Sorry sir, if I fill it anymore I am afraid that your cup will over flow.  With that, I put the water away, and helped the other flight attendant stow the cart, before it got bumpier.

 

Mr. Platinum then gets up, slams his empty cup down on the cart right in front of my face, mumbles something and then sits back down.  I stop what I was doing, turn to face him, and ask him what he just said.  He matter of factly begins to tell me that he is going to write a letter to the president of my airline about how rudely I poured his water.

 

I paused for a second to ponder whether or not I was really in a bad episode of the Twilight Zone.  He then continues to bark about how rude I was.

 

In shock I begin by apologizing and telling him that I wasn’t trying to be rude.  (I really wanted to tell him, “go ahead and write, I don’t care, see where that gets you”. I bit my tongue instead)   He stops, and his eyes begin to widen as he stared at me.

 

“I am sorry that you felt that way sir, but I wasn’t trying to be rude.  I was however trying NOT to spill water on you.  If you feel that me not over filling your glass with water, because I didn’t want to spill it on you is rude, then so be it.  If you feel that your ONLY justification in the matter is to write a letter to my company about me, then do so.  But keep in mind sir; I was merely trying NOT to spill water on you!”

 

His face suddenly softened and all me muttered to me was, “Oh…  Okay, okay” before returning to his book.

 

I wonder how upset he would have been had I just filled the glass up all of the way, handing it to him, and splashing him in the face in the process.  Giving him exactly what he wanted, rather than being cautious from the get go.

 

It’s frustrating when people like to use me as a verbal punching bag to pamper their childish ego trips.  They believe that I am forced to take all of the abuse that they dish out.  This was yet another example of how sometimes you can’t seem to please anyone no matter how hard you try.

For the co-workers...

(my beliefs on the exsistance of God, are not reflected in this cartoon...)

 

"I found your BLOG!!" 

It's a common reaction that I have gotten from quite a few of my co-workers of the past year, since my blog has gained so much momentum.  I like writing about things that people can relate to, and sometimes learn from.  I am happy that there are so many of you out there who think that my crazy life is interesting enough to read about.

I think that I could write a whole book just about all of the people who I work with.  Of course my favorite will always be my best friend in the whole wide world, John Carlos.

(Here he is fast asleep after working all night completing union and school work!)

If there ever was a time that I have been in trouble for something at work, chances are John Carlos was involved in some way.  The two of us are way too well known for going against the grain, all in the name of Unity...  John Carlos has a soap box permanently afixed to the bottom of his shoes.  John is passionate about everything that he is involved in, especially union work.  He has dragged me into some situations a few times.  Even with that, I wish that I had half of the motivation and drive that he does.  John literally will not rest until he gets the task at hand completed. 

I am only a month senior to John at our company, so I have known him the entire time I have been a flight attendant.  John and I have never worked on an airplane together for the simple fact that, I like my job and I do not want to lose my job.  The two of us stuck together on an airplane would be a recipe for disaster. 

When we lived together, we used to car pool to work.  At stop lights John was famous for either having a spastic episode looking like he had Torret's syndrome, or putting fake glasses on and asking the car next to us if they knew how to get to the airport.  Mind you we were in uniform!  I never seen people run so fast to get out of his way, when they caught a look at John spastic at the wheel!  The looks of bewilderment from motorists seeing a flight attendant ask for directions to the airport is also priceless.

He was also famous for stealing my business cards and passing them out to random strangers, hoping to score me a date.  If that wasn't bad enough, he would wait until I was riding along in the car to do it!  I think that one time he almost ran down a bicyclist in the process.  We didn't have extra money, so we had to be creative with our fun.  By the way, John doesn't drink either!  All of his antics are preformed under 100% sobriety. 

Don't think that I always let him get by with murder.  Being hard of hearing has been his downfall at times.  He takes his hearing aids out when he takes a shower, John has gotten pelted with icy water quite a few times.  That of course was in retaliation of him screaming at the top of his lungs, causing me to cut myself shaving in the bath.  Also when he is sleeping, he can't hear when I am snapping pictures like the one shown above.  That will teach him to try and flip my dress up in public.

When John Carlos and I talk about old times, we errupt into constant laughter.  We are in our own little world, where one word sentences are all that's needed to perpetuate side splitting laughs.  That I must say, is what true love is...

An interesting e-mail

(Some of you road warriors out there might like to read this...)

   

Tuesday, January 10, 2006;   A key lawmaker's suggestion to restrict airline passengers to one carry-on bag has sparked a debate among politicians, travelers, airlines and their employees.

Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), who chairs the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, said it may be time to crack down on carry-ons to allow airport screeners greater flexibility in searching bags for explosives.

Next month, as part of a Feb. 9 aviation hearing, Stevens plans to initiate further debate on the issue. At a hearing last month, Stevens said he was concerned that airport screeners are too busy processing and searching through carry-on bags at airport checkpoints and whether that slows the process of looking for explosives or other dangerous items.

"He's in the preliminary stages of looking at the issue," a Stevens spokesman said.

Other than suggesting passengers be limited to one carry-on, Stevens has not outlined what, if any, specifics he is proposing. So the key question for many travelers -- would purses and briefcases count as one carry-on bag? -- cannot yet be answered.
 
At last month's hearing, Jim May, head of the Air Transport Association, indicated that he opposes limiting the number of carry-on bags, saying passengers should be more judicious in packing their carry-ons. Because TSA screeners are able to screen each passenger's bags within two minutes, tighter limits on carry-ons may not be needed, May said.

"I fully appreciate a tremendous number of business travelers that like to be able to carry on a single bag, well packed, plus a laptop computer, a purse in the case of the ladies, etc.," May said at the hearing.

The fear for most business travelers is that if they are carrying a suitcase or a purse, they might have to check their overnight bag, instead of placing it in the overhead bin.

Investment banker Lee Shepard of Redwood City, Calif., said forcing business travelers to check bags would mean longer delays at the airport and would make air travel "even less attractive." At a time when airlines have already cut the number of baggage handlers and some carriers such as Northwest and United have begun charging for checked bags, Shepard said, the proposal would make travel "less convenient."

Reston-based frequent flier Jonathan C. Esslinger said airlines would have to hire more workers and install more airport kiosks to allow travelers to check their bags. "How many airlines have the financial ability to hire a great number of new employees to handle a lot more bags?" said Esslinger, a director with the American Society of Civil Engineers.

Road warrior Eric M. Uslaner, a University of Maryland government and politics professor, said the size, not the number of bags, should be policed. "Now you can carry on anything smaller than a Hummer and force the flight attendants to find somewhere to store it," he said.

Those details will be mulled at next month's hearing. Stevens's opinions on carry-on bags surfaced last month during hearings on the Transportation Security Administration's plan to allow passengers to carry scissors and screwdrivers on flights.

"I'd be happier if you permitted passengers to only take one thing on," Stevens said at the time, according to a transcript of the hearing. "Some of those bags are occupying more space in a plane than I do."

It's not the first time strict carry-on limits have been broached. The move first surfaced in 1997 as airlines struggled with overstuffed overhead bins and looked for relief.

But now, in the wake of increased airport security because of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, Stevens says it may be time to revisit the airlines' policies.

Airlines allow two carry-ons per passenger, a limit that has been in place since 1987. But as carry-on bags have grown in size over the years, many industry observers have argued about revisiting the issue. Airlines have complained about the hassle of travelers searching for overhead bin space and delaying their flights. And flight attendants have complained about having to help passengers with large bags.

The Association of Flight Attendants has already issued their support of Stevens's idea. "We've always urged them to limit the amount of carry-ons," said Patricia Friend, president of flight attendant's union. "In our opinion, it's more important that the less bags security has to screen, the more attention they can pay to the ones they do screen."

But as Stevens and the flight attendants favor the idea, the airlines, fearing a backlash from business travelers, are less enthusiastic.

...But I don't want to date you!

...Nothing says, "Don't even bother hitting on me," quite like cubic zirconium!

 

It's happened to me once or twice over the course of my career as a flight attendant, but nothing like what I am about to tell you.

Coming out of White Plains early in the morning.  The flight was pretty full, but nothing out of the ordinary.  One passenger stood out right away with his black clothing and matching barret pulled over his short blond curls.  He was sitting right in front of the exit row, acting rather peculiar.  Actually, he was being a down right weirdo.  He had his bag in the middle of the isle, all in disarray, along with his feet, contently reading some book.  After asking him several times to move himself and his belongings out of the isle, until he finally got the hint. 

During the beverage service, I got the pleasure of offering him something to drink.  At first he wanted alcohol, at 9AM mind you, which we didn't have.  After I told him that we didn't have anything of that sort, he told me, "Never mind..."  and went on reading his book.  He then decided to ask me for a bottle of water when I was in the middle of taking more drink orders from other passengers.  He wanted a small bottle of water.  When I offered him a glass of water, he again told me, "Never mind!"  So I went on my merry way filling the rest of the passengers drink orders.

After my #1 flight attendant and I had moved the cart up to the front of the plane, Mr. Never mind proceeds to come up behind me and ask me why I didn't give him the water that he asked for.  He had told me 3 minutes before that he didn't want anything!  So I asked him to hold on a second, and I filled the rest of the drink orders of the row that I was working on.  I then gave him his water, and sent him on his way, back to his seat where he had the contents of his bag in the isle again!

To make a long story short, after the service, Mr. Never mind proceeds to ring his call button several times.  When I came up to answer his call, he didn't want anything, that is, until my co-worker made her way through the isle.  After asking for two more glasses of water, and wanting her to sit next to him so that he could tell her a "funny story."  (Which she politely refused) 

 He then made his way to the back of the plane, where the two of us were, and asked my #1 flight attendant for her phone number.  When she tried to explain that she has a boyfriend that she has been dating for over five years, Mr. Never mind, exclaims: "I don't want to date you, I just want to talk to you when you aren't at work!"  He proceeds to tell her that he's rich and doesn't have to work, and that he is an activist for some Dr. Martin Luther King, something or other... 

I don't know why she didn't want to give up everything that she has with her boyfriend, for this winner!  (get the hint of sarcasm???)

If that wasn't the icing on the cake...  When we finally get to Chicago, the reserve first officer that we were flying with wants to take my #1 out for coffee.  At first she thought that he wanted to grab some coffee with her right then and there.  The 23 year old kid, had other ideas.  He wanted to take her out for coffee when she was in recurrent training the following week.  She tried to be honest and give him the boy friend speech, blah blah blah.  He then proceeds to tell her, "But, I don't want to date you, I just want to go out for some coffee!!!!"

Sometimes you just can't win, but what else can one do in that situation?  When she asked me how I handle those sort of situations, I told her that I kill the opportunity before it has a chance to present itself.  I showed her the ring that I was wearing on my ring finger that I recently got off of eBay!  (pictured above)  It's not a real engagement ring, but someone just looking for a good time, doesn't need to know that.  It's a trick that I got several years ago, even before I met my boy friend, to keep the weirdos from hitting on me. 

A ring on is a visible sign that you DO NOT want to be available, to those who may be on the prowl.  Taking my advice, I think that my co-worker is going to invest in some fine cubic zirconium!

Independence Air will shut it's doors on January 5th!

As of January 5, 2006 Independence Air will cease operations...

https://www.flyi.com/Default.aspx

 

To my fellow union brothers and sisters you will be in my thoughts on Thursday.  You guys lived the dream of regional airlines, if only for a short time.

If you need advice about who is hiring, resume help, ect.  Please e-mail me, and I will offer everything that I know.

Good luck!

The ZEN of Diet Soda...

Ok...  As I have said before, you can't please everyone and sometimes you can't even please ANYONE.  That can't be further from the truth this Holiday season. 

Full flights and under stocked galley carts seem to go hand in hand.  I am convinced that people don't realize that I am NOT a waitress.  It isn't my job to keep their diet coke over flowing, especially when there are only THREE diet cokes to go around for an entire flight.  Other than safety part of my duties include providing A service.  Just one, and if time and supplies permit, then re-offer.  When most of my flights are about an hour, then time permitting doesn't come into play. 

I know that there has been alot of buzz about flight attendants not giving out cans anymore.  Well here's my take on it...  There is only so much space in the galley carts for XYZ cans of soda.  When stocked with more Z and Y soda than the more popular A or diet B soda.  There's only so much to go around.  When passenger Q wants a whole can of Diet B soda, and the flight attendant knows that 20 passengers behind passenger Q will want the same, and there isn't 20 other cans of Diet B,  he or she has quite a pickle. 

If you were in their high heels, would you:

A)Make one greedy person happy and anger the other twenty people?

B)Try to supply as many people with the drink that they want as possible?

C)Keep all of the Diet soda for yourself, and make all your passengers who paid dearly for their tickets drink...  water?

D)Throw in your apron and quit because your feet hurt and you aren't cut out to serve diet coke at 35,000 feet?

 

The same equation can be applied to pillows, blankets, peanuts, pretzels, and overhead space.  You get the hint. Well ladies and gentleman we apologize for the inconvenience, but we can't give you what we don't have.  Flight attendants aren't as equipped anymore to provide you with every little minute thing that your heart desires.  Keep in mind that we are just along for the ride too, and don't set out to make your life miserable, after all it's just DIET COKE, not rocket science!