Thursday, December 18, 2003

My month with Captain DAVE

I have had the opportunity to fly with many memorable and not so memorable cockpit crews during my career. Here is one unforgetable story!

Once you become a line holder, you are usually co-paired with  the same captain an first officer for a month.  Which can be a good or bad thing depending upon how you look at the situation.  If you have good chemisty with your pilots, you can usually count on a month full of laughs, late nights spent at a local brew pub during layovers, and an all around fun work envirnment.  Though if you find yourself stuck with a crew that is anti-social or self absorbed, you're in for a long lonely month.

Luckily for me, that was not the case in August, during my month with "Captain Dave."  Dave was a 14 year veteren of out company, but unlike most captains with his similar senority, Dave still liked to have fun, and enjoy work, ESPECIALLY at the expense of others!  He was also one of those pilots who actually enjoyed giving enroute P.A.'s to the passengers.  After giving the normal weather, time remaining ect, he would usually tell the passengers a little bit about me, and my former career before being a flight attendant!  In the course of the month, I had been a character for Disney World, a four year High School volley ball champ for a local high school.  I was also flight attendant of the quarter.  I was getting my masters in meterology to leave the airline industry to be a weather girl on the Weather Channel, also leaving to be a back up singer for Britney Spears!  There are too many more to mention, but I think that you get my drift. 

I don't know how he did it, but he was able to plan his P.A. for when I was right smack in the middle of the isle, doing my beverage service, so that I had nowhere to hide.  I was mortified at first, but came to be amused with all of the looks that my passengers would give me, especally after he told them that I would be a back up singer for Brittany Spears.

Noone was safe from the clutches of Dave!  You can always tell who had flown with him in the past, because when you would mention who you were flying with, everyone had their own unique story to share!

Tuesday, December 2, 2003

Travel Tips for venturing across the big pond!

Here's a few tips that I have learned from all of my travels:


*Don't bother going to a currency exchange to exchange your Euros for the
USD, or vise versa.  When you get to the States, or wherever you are going to, all that you have to do is withdraw money from an ATM.  That way you don't have to pay the outrageous fees that the F/X charges.  Also use your credit cards whenever possible.  (This is what I do whenever I go to Canada, and it saves me alot of money and hassle.)

*During your flight to and from the U.S. drink PLENTY of water.    By preventing dehydration, you also cut back on alot of the effects of jet lag as well.  Wear loose fitting shoes and clothing.   Also make sure to stretch inflight to prevent deep vien trombosis. Use ear plugs to reduce the plane noise. 


*Remember it's an 8 hour flight to come across the pond, being comfortable is the key to happiness.  I suggest upgrading to at least business or first class if available.  There is a world of difference between coach and first class on international flights, and I always find it to be money well spent! 

*Have an extra certified copy of important documents like your birth certificate, proof of citizenship, ect.  Just in case... 


*Remember that you can't bring any perishable foods intoor out of the US Especially  not any meat products.  We don't want foot and mouth disease in our country!


*To clear US Customs you will need your passport, a completed US customs declaration card and a i94(if you are not a US citizen) form.  Depending on the mood of the customs officer, they may or may not stamp your passport.  If they don't, you can ask them to stamp it for you. If you want a US stamp in your passport! (I ask for a stamp whenever I go to Canada...  Hey why not right??)

Thursday, November 13, 2003

I haven't seen London, but I've seen France... WELL sort of...

When I decided to go to Paris to visit a once close friend of mine...  I had no idea, that I would be spending 8 hours at the Charles De Gaull International Airport, because I got stood up!  You can go to and from Paris in a single day, and I proved it!

Sunday, October 26, 2003

I AM CANADIAN! (Having fun with the OTHER Americans!)

If you ask anyone from Canada what their nationality is, they would most likely say that they are American...  How can this be true...  They don't even live in America? 

They don't live in the United States, BUT they do live in North America, thus they are Americans.  They also quickly point out that they are nothing like those of us from the States.  They like to point out that Canada is completely different from the U.S.  Other than our T.V. shows, cartoons, the Gap, Banana Republic, Mc Donalds, Sears, Walmart, KMart, Starbucks, Burgar King, KFC, ect...  Canada is quite different from the U.S.

The few cities that I have been to in Canada, (Ottowa, Toronto,ect), have an European flair and flavour this is lacking here in the States.  Then there is Montreal.  That city is in a catagory all on its own.  Montreal is NOTHING like the rest of Canada, and the people there pride themselves on being that way.  With their own French dialect (le Quebecqois), and heavy European influence, being on Montreal feels almost like someone dropped you off in a lost section of France, that was stuck in the middle of North America.  In spite of the Anti- U.S. sentiment shared by most of the residents of Montreal, I have to say that it is one of my favourite cities that I have visited thus far.  Having had the oppourtunity to spend some time with an aquaintence who was born in raised in Montreal, I was able to see Canada, and Montreal.  Not from the view point of an outsider, but to be immersed in his culture, which was so unlike my own.  Canada and its people are so much more than funny hats and accents, hockey fiends, maple leaves, pountine and steamies, lumber jacks and moose.

Being a flight attendant, I have had the oppourtunity to interact with people from all over the world.  Though it has all been from the saftey and familiarity of my own homeland.  It wasn't untill I visited Montreal, did I see just how ethnocentric and typically American I really am.  I was in a way the American Stereotype.  No matter how much I tried to hide it, the red white and blue showed right through me.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

SOOOO sorry for the inconvience!

Have we become so complacent that we are more worried about missing choir practice, or our favourite show, rather than making it to our destination safely?

This past week, I was working a flight from Chicago to Champaign, IL.  Normally it's about a 28 minute flight at the most.  Pretty painless right?  Well not this day...  We had just taken off from O'Hare and were climbing to our short cruising altitude, when my flight crew expearienced a malfuntion in one of the indicators that tells them how much fuel we have on board the airplane.  Thus, just to be safe, we had to turn around and go back to Chicago to have the aircraft checked out.  Without knowing how much fuel we had on board, or if it was LEAKING, the safe thing to do was to turn around.  My crew called me briefly to tell me the situation, and that we were going to be having a normal landing back at O'Hare.  This was the LAST thing that I wanted to hear, because I knew that my day was going to be even LONGER than it already was.  AS we got closer to O'Hare, my captain made an announcement to the passengers telling them what was happening, and that we were turning around.  That was then that the complaints starting coming my way...

"WHY can't we just go to Champaign, don't we HAVE enough gas to get there?"

"I CAN'T believe this!"

"What's going to happen NOW?"

Most everyone was more upset that we were going to be late, rather than the fact that it's better to get some place safely than not at all, because we crashed due to a potential fuel leak!  It turned out that there was nothing seriously wrong with the aircraft, and as soon as we were checked off, we went on our merry way back to CMI!

Friday, October 10, 2003

Where have all the Please and Thank-yous gone?

I have been a flying cocktail waitress for almost 4 years now, and the one thing that I have noticed is that people are becomming increasingly impolite every day! 

So rarely do I hear a please and or thank-you, that I almost taken aback if someone says it to me.  With the onset of cell phones, pagers, PDAs, MP3 players, lap tops, Blackberries, CD players,and every other gadget under the sun, our society has become so completely self-absorbed that noone aknowleges the humanity beyond the tip of their nose.  Face to face conversation is fast becomming replaced with, voice mail, e-mail, and instant messaging.  Americans have become so conditioned to look at a computer screen, that everything and everyone else around us has faded into the background.

Contrairy to popular belief, my PRIMARY job is to save your ass, not kiss it.  If the plane goes down in a crash, it's the flight attendants job to pull you out of the buring airplane, not your laptop or cell phone.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I would be extremely polite and courtious to the one person who could shock my heart, if it were to stop beating, instead of yelling at her because she's out of Diet Coke!

So do me a favour, the next time your on an airplane, instead of just barking out your usual, coffee... BLACK, orange juice... no ice, water... with just ONE ice cube, don't forget to add a please and thank you.  Because heaven forbid, you should ever have to see what I was really trained to do!  And I would hate to have to leave your ass behind, because I couldn't risk my safety to pull your lazy ass out of my plane!

Tuesday, October 7, 2003

Stupid things that Passengers say....

During my career as a flight attendant, I have encountered many interesting people, with just as many interesting questions and or comments.  I have compiled this list of my most memorable conversations:

1.  This one was one of my favourite pick up lines of all time.  During my beverage service a cute male passenger asked me: "Do you fly much?"  "Excuse me?"  I asked.  "Do you fly much?"  He asked again.  I was stunned, I didn't know how to respond at first so I simply said, "Yea, do YOU?"  I must have embarassed him, because his face turned beet red when he said, "Yea, mostly for work though."  "What a coincidence, so do I!" I retorted.  He then replied, "I know, I know... it was a bad one!"  "It's not that, it's just that you have to remember that I have EVERYTHING, at least about 5 times already today...  I'll tell you what you're pretty cute, I'll come back later, and you can try again!"  I replied.   The poor guy was so mortified that he wouldn't look at me for the rest of the flight!

2.  This one is the usual among the mullet set:  "Hi, Sir, what can I get for you?" I ask.  "How about your number?"  Mullet boy usually replies.  "I'm sorry sir, I'm fresh out of those, how about a coke instead?"  I shoot back.  I get one of these a day usually.

3.  "My you have pretty eyes, are they yours?"  A passenger asked.  "No actually, I am borrowing them from a friend!" I replied

The next questions I get asked on every flight!

"Do you come to <insert city here> often?"

"BUT I want the WHOLE CAN!"

"Do you have a blanket?"

"When are we going to get there?"

"Can I get some more <insert drink here> when you get a chance?"

"But it fit on the LAST AIRPLANE!!!!!"

"Am I going to make my connection?"

"Can you call ahead and have them hold my plane for me?"

"How come you don't make funny PA's like they do at Southwest?"

This is only a small sample of the quirkiness that I expearience at 35,000 feet.  If you have any stories that you would like to share, please feel free to add your comments...

Monday, September 15, 2003

Balancing the fine line between Self Suffiency and Damsel in Distress

As I have said before, trying to date when you are a flight attendant isn't easy!  There is so much unnecessary drama that surrounds my profession because of the stereo types! 

I get tired of being asked the same stupid questions over and over.  Such as: "Can I be loyal to one person?"  "How come a pretty girl like you doesn't have a boy friend?"  "So Do you have a guy in every city?"  "Do you think that we could get together next time you're on a lay-over?"  "How come you're gone all of the time?  I never get to see you!" "What do you mean, you went out with your crew?  WHAT HAPPENED???"  There are many more, too numerous to include. 

The simple facts are that: #1 I am a flight attendant, it's my job, that's how I pay my bills!  I am not a slut, I don't have a guy in every port, and I am not a bimbo! #2 I don't need a man to complete me, I am just as content flying solo.  #3 What does me being away for 4 days a week have anything to do with whether or not I can be faithful to one man?  #4 Yea so what if I get hit on, on a daily basis?  Like that fact would dissapear if I were placed in an office setting...

Every time I meet a new guy, I feel like I have to constantly prove myself to them to be trusted!  Why should I have to live my life under a microscope just because I pass out  pretzels and Coke at 35,000 feet?  I feel that if I can trust the person I am dating not to stray wilst I am away from home, then why can't they deal with me being gone for four days a week.  If I had a nine to five office job, I would have even less free time to devote to a relationship.  One of the (many) reasons the last guy I dated didn't want to see me anymore, was because I was away from home too much! (but that's an entirely different story!)

I feel like I have been unfairly pigeon holed, by the other half of the species, into the catagory of fun girl to date, but not settle down with, simply because I wear a pair of wings and high heels!

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Mirth and merriment..... Part 2

So when the time care to get my boarding pass for the next flight, a huge thunder storm rolled over the airport which caused the plane to divert to Dulles, and it wouldn't be into RDU, untill 7pm.  Mind you it was now 5pm, and I had been sitting at the airport since 1pm.  This was now starting to turn into the trip from HELL!  So what did I do?  Ha!  I went back to the bar, like anyother sane passenger would do!  Mind you, I wasn't in uniform, I was on vacation!  Around 7pm, I stumbled back over to the gate to check on my flight.  Not only wasn't the plane in, but now it wouldn't be there untill 8pm!  Yikes!!!  Luckly the gate agent put me on the 7:45pm flight to Chicago, that was operating on time!  I ran to the gate, hopped on the plane and jetted off to home!  What a day.....  And people think what I do is glamourus??

Saturday, September 6, 2003

6 hours of mirth and merriment at RDU intl. Airport! Part 1

I think that one of the biggest questions that I get from people who are not in the airline industry is: "Oh, you get to fly for free, you must travel all of the time!?!?" 

They are astonished when I tell them no, I like to stay home and sleep in my own bed.  Sure I do have flight benifits, but they are only space availible, meaning if there is an empty seat left over that someone hasn't bought a ticket for, then I get to fly.  If the flight is full, then I get to wait around for the  next flight and take my chances again.  Flying stand by is always a big gamble.  Take my wonderful expearience flying to North Carolina to visit my folks for example!

Last saturday I was pondering the idea to see my parents, because I was getting cabing fever.  So I checked flights for Sunday, and I was extemely surprised to find an open afternoon flight to RDU.  Of course I checked the flights comming back on Thursday, and they looked pretty good as well.  I meal listed myself for the flight on Sunday, and called my parents to let them know that I was going to make an appearience.  Sunday was breeze, I checked in about 45 minutes prior to departure, and because the flight was so wide open I was able to get my seat assignment right away.  I even got the seat that I wanted!!  The flight was uneventful, except for some weather that popped up around the airport, which delayed our landing a little. 

I had a wonderful visit with my family, and enjoyed all the peace and quiet.  I didn't fret about getting back home to Chicago as much as I usually do.  Wednesday nite I checked the flights for going back to Chicago, and the flight that I had wanted to get on went from 30 seats open to only 5 seats open.  There were alot of other employees listed for the flight.  The flight after the one that I wanted was empty so I knew that I had a back up.  I decided to take my chances and go for it, just check in 4 hours prior.   But woe be to me, because the flight went out full, and I was rolled over to the next flight that was departing in an hour and a half. 

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Vacation

Where does a flight attendant go on vacation?? 

For me usually I put my travelpro(r) away in my closet, and throw my uniform in a big pile under it, and just stay at home and relax for two weeks.  This year was different, I went to see my buddy Eric in Kalamazoo, MI!  You don't need to jet off to some exotic location to get away from it all, some of the best get a ways are right out of your back door.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

MR. 1A (cont)

About nine months ago, I was working the last imbound flight to O'Hare from Memphis.  It was an extemely light flight, maybe 15 passengers, including the cutie sitting in 1A.  It takes alot for me to get twitterpated over a passenger, But Jason was the exception.  He was tall, clean cut, handsome, with broad shoulders, and sparkly eyes.  He was 27 years old, and lived in Naperville, just outside of Chicago.  He told me that he grew up  in Toronto, and went back to see his family quite frequently.  He was very charming and flirtatious.  During the course of the flight, we chatted about everything from the woes of trying to date someone, when you are always flying, to the comfort of t-shirts and jeans.

I, of course, was oblivious to the fact that he was hitting on me, when he tried to do this silly bar joke on me, that backfired.  The more that I laughed, the redder his face became.  He made me blush, when he told me that I had the kind of eyes that he and his friends referred to as baby doll eyes.  After awhile he pointed to my fake wedding ring, and asked me, "Isn't that bad luck?"  I should have put my foot in my mouth, but instead I uttered, "I wear it so that I won't get hit on!  I have given up on dating!"  When I saw his face drop, I knew that I had missed an opportunity of a lifetime!

Knowing that I had said something extremely stupid, I knew that I had to do something to redeem myself.  When we arrived at O'Hare, I knew that he had checked bags, so I raced down to baggage claim as fast as I could hoping to catch him, but he had already gone.  I had blown my chance with a great guy who thought that I had baby  doll eyes!

MR. 1A

The one question that I get asked by my family and friends is,   "How many men try to pick you up on when you are flying?" "If only it were that simple" I tell them.

With the onset of today's road warriors who carry an array of, laptops, cell phones, DVD, CD or MP3 players, PDAs and or Gameboys(r), most of them are far to self-absorbed, and engrossed in their game of solitaire to even notice the cute flight attendant who just handed them their, coffee... BLACK, orange juice.. NO ICE, and just a cup of water... when you get a chance!

Not to say that there aren't male passengers who try to get my digits, but they are generally the ones who fly once a year, and are still under the impression that my primary funtion is a "flying airmattress."  Boy are they in for a surprise when they call the number that I slipped them, only to find out that it's the local chat line!

I have met some swell road warriors in my time.  They usually occupy seat 1A.  That seat is prime real estate if you are one of our top tier travelers.  It's the closest to the door, great bulkhead legroom (as far as regional jets are concerned), and the flight attendant is your captive audience, since my jumpseat is facing you.  If you just happen to be single, cute, and whitty, I just might find a second or two to chat you up.  There have been alot of Mr. 1As that I have had the opportunity to interact with.  A few I have gone out with on a layover, like a guy named Anton, who showed my all around Portland, Maine.  As well as some that I wish I had gone out with, like Jason, the one that I am about to tell you about.