...But I don't want to date you!

...Nothing says, "Don't even bother hitting on me," quite like cubic zirconium!

 

It's happened to me once or twice over the course of my career as a flight attendant, but nothing like what I am about to tell you.

Coming out of White Plains early in the morning.  The flight was pretty full, but nothing out of the ordinary.  One passenger stood out right away with his black clothing and matching barret pulled over his short blond curls.  He was sitting right in front of the exit row, acting rather peculiar.  Actually, he was being a down right weirdo.  He had his bag in the middle of the isle, all in disarray, along with his feet, contently reading some book.  After asking him several times to move himself and his belongings out of the isle, until he finally got the hint. 

During the beverage service, I got the pleasure of offering him something to drink.  At first he wanted alcohol, at 9AM mind you, which we didn't have.  After I told him that we didn't have anything of that sort, he told me, "Never mind..."  and went on reading his book.  He then decided to ask me for a bottle of water when I was in the middle of taking more drink orders from other passengers.  He wanted a small bottle of water.  When I offered him a glass of water, he again told me, "Never mind!"  So I went on my merry way filling the rest of the passengers drink orders.

After my #1 flight attendant and I had moved the cart up to the front of the plane, Mr. Never mind proceeds to come up behind me and ask me why I didn't give him the water that he asked for.  He had told me 3 minutes before that he didn't want anything!  So I asked him to hold on a second, and I filled the rest of the drink orders of the row that I was working on.  I then gave him his water, and sent him on his way, back to his seat where he had the contents of his bag in the isle again!

To make a long story short, after the service, Mr. Never mind proceeds to ring his call button several times.  When I came up to answer his call, he didn't want anything, that is, until my co-worker made her way through the isle.  After asking for two more glasses of water, and wanting her to sit next to him so that he could tell her a "funny story."  (Which she politely refused) 

 He then made his way to the back of the plane, where the two of us were, and asked my #1 flight attendant for her phone number.  When she tried to explain that she has a boyfriend that she has been dating for over five years, Mr. Never mind, exclaims: "I don't want to date you, I just want to talk to you when you aren't at work!"  He proceeds to tell her that he's rich and doesn't have to work, and that he is an activist for some Dr. Martin Luther King, something or other... 

I don't know why she didn't want to give up everything that she has with her boyfriend, for this winner!  (get the hint of sarcasm???)

If that wasn't the icing on the cake...  When we finally get to Chicago, the reserve first officer that we were flying with wants to take my #1 out for coffee.  At first she thought that he wanted to grab some coffee with her right then and there.  The 23 year old kid, had other ideas.  He wanted to take her out for coffee when she was in recurrent training the following week.  She tried to be honest and give him the boy friend speech, blah blah blah.  He then proceeds to tell her, "But, I don't want to date you, I just want to go out for some coffee!!!!"

Sometimes you just can't win, but what else can one do in that situation?  When she asked me how I handle those sort of situations, I told her that I kill the opportunity before it has a chance to present itself.  I showed her the ring that I was wearing on my ring finger that I recently got off of eBay!  (pictured above)  It's not a real engagement ring, but someone just looking for a good time, doesn't need to know that.  It's a trick that I got several years ago, even before I met my boy friend, to keep the weirdos from hitting on me. 

A ring on is a visible sign that you DO NOT want to be available, to those who may be on the prowl.  Taking my advice, I think that my co-worker is going to invest in some fine cubic zirconium!